I stumbled back across this blog several weeks ago and was rather upset by the title. It seemed I had started this about a year ago...the five referring to the number of children my husband and I were about to have...only a year later, there were still just the four and the title of the long forgotton blog were a bit of a kick in the teeth.
You see our fifth baby was the shock of our lives, a bit of a bolt out of the blue! However, we did get used to the idea and were eagerly awaiting the 12 week 'safety zone' to tell the world about this surprise baby...and the worst happened. I will spare you the details but the 12 week scan did not show a fidgeting little baby in the womb...it showed a 12 week sac and the remains of a 5-6 wk foetus.
A lot of tears, heartbreak and prozac later we finally passed the due date and survived and were just approaching the anniversary of the day we heard the terrible news. Grief had given way to acceptance and we were even talking about booking dh in for his big V...so imagine our surprise when actually, I discovered that I could use this blog, no altering the title, after all!
Wow! I know it's early days and having experienced two miscarriages in the past I know how tentative the first trimester can be. But in the middle of this roller coaster of emotions, of adjusting once again to the crazy surprise that actually, we may well have FIVE children in 8 months time, part of me can't help thinking that it was completely meant to be!
